“If you set limits you will only get there. You have to be unconditional.” says my friend Don Wood, Founder of 80/20 Inc.
Besides isn’t it a little arrogant to think you can’t do something? As author A.L. Kennedy writes, “Have more humility. Remember you don't know the limits of your own abilities.”
So what does it mean to be unconditional? I decided to consult a couple of online dictionaries for unconditional and found “without limitations” and “free from constraint”. Glancing at a list of synonyms, I noted words such as: all-out, complete, total and unqualified. As I thought about it, to be unconditional is really
Stop and reflect on that for a minute. What should we be applying that to? Worse yet, what areas of your life and career are you not applying it to? Imagine a world of being doubtful, qualified, and restricted. Unfortunately, I suspect this will sound all too familiar.to have no limits.
- With your boss – “Why ask, I already know what she is going to say!”
- With your co-worker – “That’s how we’ve always done it.”
- With your employee – “Sure I’d like to do that, but when will we have the time?”
- With your business partner – “They don’t have the industry experience to be successful.”
- With a client – “I doubt they would ever be willing to try that.”
- With a supplier – “It would be nice, but that will never sell.”
- With a prospect – “I’m not wasting my time, they only work with the national firms.”
Mary Kay Ash once said, “Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe – remember – you can achieve." This mirrors my early career in sales. I was in the Indianapolis office of one of the large, public insurance brokers. Although it wasn’t written in any handbook or manual, there were clearly established ceilings on what salespeople could produce in a given year.
I had nothing to compare it against. I was 22 and fresh out of college. But the numbers bantered around sure seemed daunting. I mean if the veteran folks felt that way, it must be true. A few years into it, I was out-producing many of those same people. Maybe there wasn’t a ceiling after all, but had I already reached the pinnacle of my sales career? I decided to find out.
At 24, I joined the Phoenix office of a national competitor. Their expectation of minimal performance was about three times as much as much as the definition of success where I came from. That was made very clear to me by the regional head: “Son, I will never hold it against you for being young, but I will also never cut you an ounce of slack!” I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d make it or not, but I figured the worst thing that could happen was to live in the beautiful Arizona weather for a year.
So I hopped on the treadmill and ran. Faster than I ever had. Faster than I ever thought was possible. And I realized that the old mental barriers I had were self-imposed. Yes, I had a new definition of what was possible. But you know what? Even though my new expectation was much, much higher than before I never substantially surpassed it. I had only replaced my old glass ceiling with a new one.
Here’s my dirty little secret. For 15 years, I’ve received nothing but praise every year for my sales results, but I could have done even more. I have done what I believed was humanly possible each year. Being unconditional is about not having any limits – not just better or higher ones.
Director James Cameron says, “Imagination is a force that can actually manifest a reality. Don't put limitations on yourself. Others will do that for you.” And that’s an important point. So many of our limits are placed on us – or at least substantiated –by the very people closest to us. Are your friends and business associates pushing you to think bigger and better? Or do they accept mediocrity as the norm?
Even the Bible describes “unconditional” – specific to relationships – as someone that “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. What would your relationships be like if you practiced being more unconditional? They’d be a lot more authentic, constant, endless, unrestricted, and extraordinary wouldn’t they! By the way, those words are all in the dictionary as “related words” to unconditional.
What’s The Risk?
Is there a risk in being unconditional? Well I think if we’re being honest, it can be a little scary. What if during your journey you realize you don’t have the right friends? What if you shoot for something bigger and don’t make it?
I reminded of a passage in Teddy Roosevelt’s “Citizenship In A Republic” speech from 1910:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Be unconditional! Here’s how to get started.
- Read, learn ,and travel – you must expose your mind to more. Books and college courses are great, but don’t forget about blogs, articles, and whitepapers. Go visit! The key is expanding your idea of what is possible. This will be your spark.
- Fan your flame – you’ve got the dream, now you’ve got to put yourself out there. Commit it to writing by drafting a plan and sharing it with someone you trust. It will change and adjust, but you’ve got to start somewhere.
- Engage with unconditional people – those that live without limits themselves, but also those that will support you unconditionally. You will need both.
Writer T.F. Hodge says it well: “The sky is not my limit… I am.”Good luck on your journey!
