Today we’re sharing insight from guest blogger Cheryl Ashbaugh, consultant and coach for SpotOn Coaching and Consulting. We hope you enjoy Cheryl’s wisdom and perspective.
Positive, safe, rewarding relationships. Isn’t that something we all crave? Something we all need? It’s the basis of our human existence - to connect with others. How can something so necessary to our very soul be so difficult?
We have many kinds of relationships - our partners, our children, our friends, our co-workers, our barista! In every relationship, regardless of which one we’re talking about, there is a common denominator – two people who want to know they matter, who want to be loved, two people who want to be heard.
Great things come from great relationships – ideas are born, dreams are created, friendships are formed, love grows, problems are solved, minds expand, and people unite.
The good news? By mastering the following principles we can develop relationships that enrich our lives and fulfill our need for human connection.
Respect – Everyone wants to be held in high regard and acknowledged. It can be as simple as remembering to make eye contact and smile, taking the time to say good morning. Even when you’re in a hurry and have a thousand things on your mind, it matters. Ask for input or advice and recognize the effort and accomplishments of others.
Self-Awareness – Learn to recognize and control your emotions. Realize the impact your words and actions have on others. Raising your self-awareness will open your eyes and heart to deeper, more meaningful connections in every relationship you have.
Empathy – Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What would you want to hear? How would you want to be treated? Being able to recognize how someone else is affected by the circumstances at hand can lead to greater understanding and connection.
Be present - How often have you been in a conversation and you know the other person is not really listening to you? How does it make you feel? Even when talking to someone on the phone we know when they are not paying attention to us, we sense it. Have you ever caught yourself thinking about what you’re going to say next or sneaking a peak at your phone and realizing you don’t even know what the person you’re talking to is saying?
Don’t get hung up on being right - Always keep the big picture in mind. What is the goal? What do you hope to accomplish? How can it be a victory for everyone? There is a lot of freedom in giving up the need to always be right. Don’t feel like you have to prove someone wrong; practice a little humility.
Don’t be confrontational or judgmental – Ask questions. Seek to understand the circumstances as clearly as possible. Don’t jump to conclusions. Look for creative ways to resolve issues and reduce conflict.
Be open-minded - Know that others may have ideas and solutions that you haven’t considered. Be willing to learn something new. Don’t miss out on an opportunity for growth or change because you weren’t willing to look at a different perspective.
Set others up for success – Helping others to learn more, improve their skills, or achieve a goal enriches not only their lives but ours as well. Our ability to want more for others has a direct effect on our own achievements.
Address problems when they come up – Issues become bigger and more difficult to resolve the longer we avoid dealing with them. There is nothing to be gained by hoping it will just go away. You undermine your integrity when you fail to take action when you see a problem and choose to ignore it.
Be generous – With your time, your knowledge, and your love. Understand and acknowledge when people are hurting, take time to listen, celebrate their successes, appreciate them for who they are, and help them when they are struggling. Be generous in sharing what you know, you will be appreciated for offering your support and encouragement.
Be reliable, trustworthy, and kind – When you are personally grounded you establish the basis for building solid relationships. When people know they can really count on you, that your word means everything, and that you will not undermine them but lift them up, they will become your biggest ally and your greatest defender.
Be willing to be vulnerable – Share your struggles, fears, dreams. When you’re willing to let people see the real you they are more willing to let you see the real them, trust is developed and there are huge gains to be made.
What’s The Risk?
By not developing the skills necessary to form healthy relationships we deny ourselves the basic foundation needed to connect with others. It’s truly one of the most important things we do in life. Our relationships influence who we are and how we see the world around us. Our attitudes and beliefs are shaped by the relationships we have. Take the time to build better relationships. You’re worth it!
This content was written and shared by guest blogger Cheryl Ashbaugh.
Cheryl Ashbaugh started her business, SpotOn Coaching and Consulting, to pursue her passion for working with executives who were looking for more. She helps her clients recognize and capitalize on their strengths and remove barriers that are in their way. She brings nearly 30 years of rich and extensive business experience that includes leadership, management, strategic planning, sales, marketing, and customer service.
Cheryl is also very excited about facilitating The Executive Roundtable which will premier Fall 2015. ERT is a Senior Level Executive peer group, created in conjunction with the IUSB Leighton School of Business and Economics. The program is designed to provide an environment for executives to discuss and examine issues, share knowledge and expertise; a place to hone their skills and develop strengths, and a place that will provide resources and solutions.
