Flowers
You couldn’t help but notice the huge bouquet of roses on her desk. “So who got you the flowers for Valentine’s Day?” I asked. She was a salesperson just like me and we had become pretty good friends since starting at the company a few years prior. “None of your business! He’s just a friend. Well, maybe more than a friend!” she replied. “You have a secret admirer, don’t you!” I exclaimed. She nodded happily but still wouldn’t say who it was.
Not long after, I was promoted to my first real management job. After being friends with a number of my fellow salespeople, I suddenly found myself in charge at age 27. On a daily basis, I was learning about behaviors and outlooks that were normal and even acceptable as an “employee” but no longer as part of the management team.
One night I ran into the co-worker mentioned above, now a direct report, and to my surprise she was with a client of hers. The secret admirer was secret no longer. In fact I knew this CFO well (I’ll call him Mark). He was very driven and looking for a different career path. He had actually expressed an interest in joining our firm in a sales role.The next week, I caught up with my colleague and discussed having a relationship with a client. We had a policy against this. She said the policy wasn’t fair and nobody was being hurt by it. She begged me not to tell anyone. I’ve always considered myself a loyal friend and reluctantly agreed.
At the same time this was going on, her performance had begun to steadily decline. She was losing clients and not winning new deals. Unexpectedly, I received a call from my boss one evening.
The Dilemma
He said, “Tim, I’m going to fire her tomorrow given her performance. I’ll need you to call her clients and assist them temporarily. And by the way, I’ve been talking to “Mark” – you know him, right? I’m going to hire him to replace her. Great idea, huh?” And then he hung up. He was about to ‘step in it’ and didn’t know what was coming.
Uh-ohhh. A number of thoughts ran through my mind. I was trying desperately to find a way to remain loyal to a friend while protecting my company and my boss.
That night I called my Dad and told him about the situation and my dilemma. I began to weigh the merits of both sides. It didn’t take him very long to respond: “Tim, who signs your checks?” I continued to protest and he reminded me that I had given her a chance to fix things and she had not. I didn’t cause this issue. But I had an obligation to let my boss know what was going on.
I picked up the phone and made the call to him that night. I think I heard him fall off his chair. It was a scenario he couldn’t have dreamed up. I felt bad about my friendship with my female colleague, but thanks to my Dad’s sound advice, I did the right thing. As for my former colleague, she was still let go. She never spoke to me again.
What’s The Risk?
The trouble was, on my own, I couldn’t totally figure out the right thing to do. Oh, I suppose deep down inside, I knew, but it was complex. It was one of those ethical battles of personal loyalty versus loyalty to my company. I needed someone I could trust that would give me an honest answer - no matter what.
I think a lot of leaders are missing an accountability partner. They had one or more along the way as they rose to their role of President or CEO. But the higher they got, the more their trusted advisors held back. Now they sit alone and for a variety of reasons don’t get the council they need.
Do you have someone you can turn to? Perhaps it’s the prior CEO or someone on your board. Your best bet may be an outside coach. Regardless, as the leader, you can’t compromise when it comes to doing the right thing. Integrity matters.
