“Our response to your proposal is that you can call my corporate counsel. Thank you.”
It was 6:22 p.m. on a Wednesday evening and I sat staring at the email on my iPhone, hardly believing what I read. It’s over I said quietly to myself. Still a bit in shock, I called one of my partners to let him know.
After eight years and a tremendously successful run together, our relationship with a strategic partner had just ended. They would, of course, finish out all of their contractually obligated work (and very well I might add). But the ride was over. We had lost that loving feeling for each other.
In the trenches on a day-to-day basis, the work product was great. Our teams truly enjoyed working together. We got each other’s jokes. We had nicknames for each other. They were a key catalyst for our rapid growth. And we exceeded their wildest expectations by providing a consistently growing stream of income as one of their largest partners in the country.
So what happened? The truth was that things had been strained for quite some time at an executive level. The more we grew with them, the higher our monthly retainer became, the greater our expectations became. Early on our requests for more customization and flexibility for our clients were met with polite declines. They had a model that worked and we needed to stick to it. With a blind reverence, we accepted the responses from their leadership. Our growth was on such a fast pace we really didn’t have time to take a pause and evaluate the relationship.
Fast forward several more years and the issues we should have dealt with then were now extremely exasperated. The phone calls became more heated and finally we pushed for a face-to-face meeting to work through the differences. Surely neither side would let such a successful and large partnership end, right?
The meeting was intense and at one time we actually had to take a break and reconvene later. We began to realize this had become very personal and was no longer a business decision. Somehow, miraculously, we left that meeting with an understanding from them – at least we thought so – on what we needed to keep things intact.
Several months went by and when we finally received the revised service agreement, we realized that the terms had actually become worse! They were more restrictive and in some cases punitive. And to boot, we were given “48 hours” to respond. What!?!?!
To play it safe, months prior, we had begun evaluating other strategic partners to fill the void should things end. Even though we couldn’t imagine working with any other firm, we had in fact identified some great options. One group in particular really stood out to us as being a more than capable (dare I say an even better) option for our needs. Yet, we didn’t want to see things end. Even after all the turmoil it was hard to imagine not working with them. They had really become an extension of our team over the years.
So with one last Hail Mary to save the relationship, we consulted our original agreement and realized that they had smartly written in an arbitration clause in the event we couldn’t agree. Finally! Some reason would take hold. Utilizing my best recollection of How To Win Friends And Influence People, we suggested that per the agreement we enlist outside help to solve our differences.
Our answer came in that email. Call my corporate counsel. So we moved on.
As I reflected on the demise of a once very successful relationship, I wondered what we could have done differently along the way. The advice I’ve learned about conflict resolution applies. Keep it about business no matter how difficult. Seek to understand what is really driving the other side’s emotions and thinking. Maintain a good and open dialogue all the time so issues can be discussed sooner in the process. Maybe we could have done a better job at those things? I’m not sure it ultimately would have mattered.
The real lesson was that the year of turmoil forced us to reevaluate ourselves. While this strategic partner had been very instrumental in our early success, our practice had evolved. We actually needed somebody new. Without the personal blow-up, it likely would never have occurred.
What’s The Risk?
Sometimes that blind reverence, or as a former boss of mine called it, blissful ignorance, can keep you from making the right business decision. In our case, we endured a lot of grief and paid handsomely for it over a number of years just because we didn’t believe there was something better out there. While we will definitely miss the personal relationships and are very appreciative of the mutual success we had together, the conflict actually brought a positive outcome.
Today we are better positioned to serve our clients than ever before. We are reinvesting in new tools and resources. And we’re doing it with some new partners that truly appreciate us. It’s amazing the innovation that can occur through collaboration. So to those new partners, we just wanted to say, “Thanks for the love!”
